There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize