his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
