To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize