she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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