now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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