I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
