but the lizard people decide everything anyway
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
