I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
