If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
