Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
