I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
