Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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