I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
