I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
one might say we're banned from that church
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
