i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
The ass gains better be worth it
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