you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we're making bets on your personal life
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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