Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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