"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Randomize
