i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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