well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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