Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
