I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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