i jhust puked up my retainher.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
