Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I love you. Go after that dick
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
