That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
