i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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