At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize