I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
