3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
