So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
