Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
