Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
