I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
