Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
