dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
