She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
