Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
