Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize