its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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