I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
