I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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