if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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