Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
