that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
