She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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