dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
