i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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