Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
