I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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