hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
