with your own penis?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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