my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
