i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
