That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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