The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
