I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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