can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
