who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
