A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who died my cat blue again?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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