were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
