office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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