He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
